Is it possible that Mr Wrong is actually Mr Right?
I have now managed to stay on the internet dating site for an entire week - a recent record for me... and I just am not seeing him - Mr Right. I try...I really try to look and to be honest, I am just not seeing what I am looking for. It also appears as if the men out there are experiencing the same thing when it comes to me too. Well, that's not completely true - I have received a couple of messages - from men who live a good 9 hour drive from me. One of them my daughter looked at his photo and said he had a scary look in his eyes. He wrote in text language and stated that he has a "crazy personality".... is that meant to be enticing? Another fellow had more pictures of his kids and his motorbike posted than of himself(even that one had his kids in the photo)... makes me wonder if his kids are actually the selling point here. He forwarded me his email address which was his name and his ex-partners name... nice one... and then commented that he was looking to hang with a "yummy mummy"...hmmmm...
Pickings are a bit slim it seems. But then here's the thing - I think that I am a pretty good catch. I reckon I am one of those girls that once you meet and actually manage a conversation with me you discover that I am quite interesting and one could even venture to say, attractive. That is interesting in the good way, not interesting in the 'hmmmm-raise one eyebrow' kind of way. I know there are probably heaps of men on that site that are the same...but we just don't get past that first hurdle... the photo/profile.
How do I know if one of these Mr Wrongs is actually Mr Right?
The problem for me at the moment is that I am getting fed up with it already... I think I have spent too many years/months scanning through the seemingly endless pages of profiles - looking for the spark, the zing ... the one.
I have met some amazing people on the site - many of them are still friends of mine - and for that I am grateful. But it is time to move on... to try something else... a different avenue...
Any suggestions?
Someone suggested speed dating... has anyone out there done this? I think it is the dating game where you sit and chat with a guy for a couple of minutes, then move to the next one, the next one... and so on... then at the end of the night decide if you want to see any of them again and vise versa. Ugh.
My friends are a bunch of slackers... okay, that's not really true at all - I have great friends... but they haven't hosted any dinner parties where lovely single men have been invited for me to meet - ever. I am continually the third, 5th, 7th, 9th wheel... the majority of my friends have partners... you'd think something would rub off eventually...
Anyway, back to my original question. Perhaps Mr Wrong, who I never bother to meet, is Mr Right. Maybe the zing factor is there, but I just haven't gotten close enough to find out. A friend of mine mentioned that her husband (who is very much her Mr Right) was very much Mr Wrong on first meeting... the complete opposite in every way to someone she would have picked if listing his physical characteristics and what he got up to on a daily basis. Here's the catch though - they had spark... they had that SOMETHING.... and that 'something' has sustained them through thick and thin. It forms the core of the relationship that they can rely on to be there when at times things around them feel as if they are crumbling. That's what I want to experience...
So perhaps I should change the title of my quest... a 40something woman's quest for the Mr Wrong or Right who is actually Mr Right... kind of covers all the bases don't you think?
Showing posts with label mr right. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mr right. Show all posts
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Welcome to my quest
According to Wikipedia, a quest is:
"A journey towards a goal...In literature, the objects of quests require great exertion on the part of the hero and the overcoming of many obstacles, typically including much travel especially over a body of water."
I am a 40something year old woman and I am on a quest for "Mr. Right." I am the hero of this story and come to think of it, I did sail to New Zealand from the Caribbean, so it appears as if I am on the right watery track. I also live in a very wet area of New Zealand, so technically, I am puddle jumping quite frequently so there are more watery obstacles I am meant to overcome - I must be getting close! Instead of only sharing this seemingly endless quest with whomever is within shouting distance, I thought I would share my journey... my quest... with whomever actually feels like listening. No more cornering friends at dinner parties or at the bus stop with my latest lament. I am saving it for this blog. I am saving it for those who voluntarily choose to have an ear/eye full.
Here's the deal. I am tired of being "the single one" or the one who is with "what's his name?" Actually, the running joke is sort of along the lines of "who am I chatting/skyping to now?" I am getting heaps better at shortening the turn over time. I used to take years to move on... then months... then weeks...days... I now seem to be able to find enough faults to warrant the ending before the beginning actually even occurs. How clever am I?
Not very...
Here's how it works now. I have begun this interesting habit of joining a dating site when I am fed up with being single and feeling that I need to be proactive - you know, my soul mate is NOT going to just show up on my doorstep no matter how much I try to visualize him doing so. Anyway, the joining is not really the interesting part... the part that is amusing to friends is the part where after a day or two(literally), I get weirded out... about putting myself out there and not REALLY knowing if the man on the other end is really who he says he is, or I think I really don't have enough time to commit to this or I don't get any messages or smiles and think "is my profile/photo THAT bad?", or I don't get any replies to my messages- hey, when I said it's "cool if you don't write back" - I was lying!.. or I only get messages from men 20 years older than me who have just had heart surgery... or I read the message he does send and decide there are too many grammatical errors or too much text talk (LOL!) or he is too responsive and eager and must be desperate...and I cancel my subscription. So basically, I should just go and give $20 to a more needy recipient - someone who might actually use it...
This time it is going to be different. I have joined again and have been a member for 3 days! Nice one! Times are a changing... sort of...
I wrote to a guy that I had been chatting with a couple of years ago (yup, I have been doing this on and off for some time now). I did this because I recalled that he seemed nice with some similar interests and thought that though he wasn't quite what I was looking for back then, perhaps it was time for a change in direction. Okay ... seemed like a good plan to me... he wrote back almost immediately with a fairly long, friendly and amusing response. Oh no- how dare he! Too quick and too lengthy - and of course this must mean...... too eager. Oh, and also he lives and works too far away - I forgot about that...
So I have now, after one exchange of messages, officially panicked.
Well done. That might be a new speed record for me.
Houston, we have a problem.... I thought I was ready to change, but for some reason, I don't seem to allow myself to go there. Perhaps some part of me wants to remain single? It reminds me of a quote from Richard Bach's book One:
“No one can solve problems for someone whose problem is that they don’t want problems solved...No matter how qualified or deserving we are, we will never reach a better life until we can imagine it for ourselves and allow ourselves to have it…”
- Richard Bach
Something to ponder....
"A journey towards a goal...In literature, the objects of quests require great exertion on the part of the hero and the overcoming of many obstacles, typically including much travel especially over a body of water."
I am a 40something year old woman and I am on a quest for "Mr. Right." I am the hero of this story and come to think of it, I did sail to New Zealand from the Caribbean, so it appears as if I am on the right watery track. I also live in a very wet area of New Zealand, so technically, I am puddle jumping quite frequently so there are more watery obstacles I am meant to overcome - I must be getting close! Instead of only sharing this seemingly endless quest with whomever is within shouting distance, I thought I would share my journey... my quest... with whomever actually feels like listening. No more cornering friends at dinner parties or at the bus stop with my latest lament. I am saving it for this blog. I am saving it for those who voluntarily choose to have an ear/eye full.
Here's the deal. I am tired of being "the single one" or the one who is with "what's his name?" Actually, the running joke is sort of along the lines of "who am I chatting/skyping to now?" I am getting heaps better at shortening the turn over time. I used to take years to move on... then months... then weeks...days... I now seem to be able to find enough faults to warrant the ending before the beginning actually even occurs. How clever am I?
Not very...
Here's how it works now. I have begun this interesting habit of joining a dating site when I am fed up with being single and feeling that I need to be proactive - you know, my soul mate is NOT going to just show up on my doorstep no matter how much I try to visualize him doing so. Anyway, the joining is not really the interesting part... the part that is amusing to friends is the part where after a day or two(literally), I get weirded out... about putting myself out there and not REALLY knowing if the man on the other end is really who he says he is, or I think I really don't have enough time to commit to this or I don't get any messages or smiles and think "is my profile/photo THAT bad?", or I don't get any replies to my messages- hey, when I said it's "cool if you don't write back" - I was lying!.. or I only get messages from men 20 years older than me who have just had heart surgery... or I read the message he does send and decide there are too many grammatical errors or too much text talk (LOL!) or he is too responsive and eager and must be desperate...and I cancel my subscription. So basically, I should just go and give $20 to a more needy recipient - someone who might actually use it...
This time it is going to be different. I have joined again and have been a member for 3 days! Nice one! Times are a changing... sort of...
I wrote to a guy that I had been chatting with a couple of years ago (yup, I have been doing this on and off for some time now). I did this because I recalled that he seemed nice with some similar interests and thought that though he wasn't quite what I was looking for back then, perhaps it was time for a change in direction. Okay ... seemed like a good plan to me... he wrote back almost immediately with a fairly long, friendly and amusing response. Oh no- how dare he! Too quick and too lengthy - and of course this must mean...... too eager. Oh, and also he lives and works too far away - I forgot about that...
So I have now, after one exchange of messages, officially panicked.
Well done. That might be a new speed record for me.
Houston, we have a problem.... I thought I was ready to change, but for some reason, I don't seem to allow myself to go there. Perhaps some part of me wants to remain single? It reminds me of a quote from Richard Bach's book One:
“No one can solve problems for someone whose problem is that they don’t want problems solved...No matter how qualified or deserving we are, we will never reach a better life until we can imagine it for ourselves and allow ourselves to have it…”
- Richard Bach
Something to ponder....
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